Random Questions
by TenkunoMeiou
Summary: Sora thinks of the most random things. And Riku tries to answer, key word Tries. Series.
1. Cracker Demons

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary:** Sora thinks of the most random things. And Riku tries to answer, key word Tries. Series.

**A/N:** Good lord, someone shoot me….Monster drinks are the devil!

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**Random Questions: Chapter one, 'Crackers Demons'

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_Crunch. _

Riku sighed contently as he flopped himself on his living room couch and sprawled his entire body over it and on someone as well.

"Hey! Riku! Get your smelly feet off of me!" A certain young brunette cried as he roughly shoved Riku's feet off his lap, resulting in the silver haired boy falling completely off the couch.

"Umpf!" A groan, then there was a growl. "Sora!"

All he received was two bright blue eyes narrowed in a glare and a tongue stuck out at him.

"That's what you get for invading my space bubble."

Neon aqua green eyes narrowed into slits as he snatched the remote off of the coffee table and sat down on the couch again, this time far away from Sora, muttering darkly about popping a space bubble with many sharp knives.

Sighing he flipped on the T.V, and the two began to watch the junk that would rot their brains until they became nothing more than desiccated little wrinkled pears.

Cartoons.

_Crunch. _

Riku blinked and looked over at Sora.

"What the heck are you eating?"

Blue eyes didn't even glance Riku's way as he answered, "Crackers."

A silver eyebrow rose. "And where did you get these crackers?"

"From my nose." Sora replied sarcastically with a roll of his eyes." Where do you think dipstick?"

"I love how you just steal food from my cabinets. You know my dad works hard to feed his family. I don't want to see him work to death so he has to feed us and your bottomless pit of a stomach."

Sora rolled his big blue eyes again and chomped on another cracker, and continued to watch the T.V. Riku waited a few seconds to see if the other boy would say anything else. When he didn't, Riku gave up the verbal battle as well and went back to watching the glowing box in front of them.

"Hey, Riku?"

"Mmm?"

"Why do crackers have holes in them?"

His head whipped around to face his friend so fast, he was scared he might have whip lash.

"What?"

All Sora did was hold a cracker up to his face and point to the little holes in the crispy thing. "Holes. Why do they have holes in them? I mean what's the purpose?"

"Ahhh….erm…" Now that he thought about it. Why were there holes in the crackers? What on earth could holes in cracker possible do?

"Well…I don't-"

"You don't know, do you." And with a sigh Sora moved away from Riku and sat back down on his side of the couch with a sigh. "Man, I thought you knew everything Riku." Sora waved his hand as if he was waving something good-bye. "Guess I was wrong."

What the heck!

Was Sora honestly questioning Riku's intelligence!

_Sora _questioning _his_ intelligence!

"I know exactly why!"

Cobalt eyes blinked over at him a bit surprised, but the surprise was only momentary before a sheepish smug look crossed the young brunettes face. "Oh really?"

No way was Sora going to intimidate him. "Really."

"Then tell me why."

Crap.

Now he had to come up with an answer.

"Ahhhh, you see it's because…of…umm…"

Aqua eyes darted around the room quickly as if the answer would be found scribbled on the wall or something. But, sadly no magical writing appeared on the wall. All Riku could find was his mom's book about 'How to Feng Shui your house'.

That was it!

"Because they need the holes there so that the evil cracker demon will go right though the cracker instead of imbedding themselves in the cracker so that when you eat them you won't become possessed!"

Everything was quiet in the room besides Fred Flintstone on T.V screaming 'Ya-ba-da-ba-do!'.

Slowly Sora turned off the television and put the crackers away. Gently and almost cautiously he took Riku's arm and started to lead him too where Riku's dad kept all the books and files for the family.

"Sora what are you doing?"

Sora was quiet for a moment. But then in all seriousness he said, "Getting you a book. Because you obviously have been watching too much television."

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**A/N:** Wow. Chapter one done already. That wasn't so bad! .! Please review! 


	2. Cows

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary:** Sora thinks of the most random things. And Riku tries to answer, key word Tries. Series.

**A/N: **I'm up late again watching the new puppy thought I would write! And yes my veggie headness came out in this chapter.

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**Random Things: Chapter Two ' Cows'**

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Riku panted softly as he leaned against his refrigerator.

His face usually pale white was flushed a bright and healthy color of red, his face drenched in sweat, pasting his soaked silver bangs to his forehead. His shirt was also soaked with sweat, making him uncomfortable and probably going to give him heat rash if he kept it on for any longer.

His cool aqua green eyes quickly moved over to the other body now lying on his kitchen floor.

He had to smirk.

Sora looked just as tired as him, if not more.

The boy lay face down on the floor, legs and arms spread wide as if asking the cold tile floor to swallow him up. The boys spiky brown hair was matted with sweat, which made them, stick up even more. Even though he couldn't see the boy's face, he knew Sora was all sweaty also. Riku could tell by how soaked the back of his shirt was.

"Hey, Sora. Just so you know. I don't think my mom will enjoy coming home to find a dead teen on her floor."

All Sora did was groan, then lift a weak fist and shake it slowly then let it fall down back onto the ground lifelessly with a dull thud.

Riku smirked and he moved to open the fridge's door, "Hey. It was you who wanted to race around the island five times. Not me." He shivered slightly as a cold sweep of air brushed his sweat-dampened skin when he opened the door.

He heard Sora mutter a comeback, but he just shrugged it off because he was too tired to care.

Half heartedly he searched the contents of the fridge.

"Mmmm….Okay. Choices for drinks are…grape juice, cranberry juice, orange juice, or milk. And there's always water."

"Geeze, Riku. Think you're family has enough juice?"

"Apparently not, because my mom keep buying more and more. So what will it be?"

Sora lifted his head just enough so he could rest his chin on the floor. "Milk."

Riku blinked and looked over at his best friend with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes."

Riku shrugged and got the carton of milk out the fridge and proceeded to pour the both of them a glass of milk. "So, why the sudden urge to drink milk? If memory serves me correctly, you hate milk and how you could never understand how people could stand to drink 'Cow Pee'."

Sluggishly Sora pulled himself up from the floor and dragged his body over to the table, only to flop right into a chair. "Yeah, well that was before gym class when Mr. Morison measured my height and shook his head sadly."

Riku sighed as he placed the big glass of milk in front of the brunette. He watched as blue eyes narrowed as it slightly, but then he took the glass, and took a huge gulp of it anyway.

"Ugh!"

Neon green eyes rolled as he took of his own milk, and watched as Sora made various over dramatic faces to show his disgust for the liquid. After awhile Sora calmed down with the antics and they sat quietly dinking their milk.

"Mmmm…"

Riku glanced over at his friend.

Sora was giving his glass of milk a thoughtful look. Heh heh, that's funny. Sora being thoughtful.

"Sora, what are you doing?"

"Thinking."

Well, thank you Mr. Obvious.

He sighed softly. He knew he was going to regret asking this question…

"What per say are you thinking about?"

For a moment he thought Sora wouldn't answer, but then the boy pursed his lips softly and slammed his hand down on the table, surprising Riku so badly he jumped.

"What the heck!"

"Wouldn't that be harassment!" Sora exclaimed loudly, waving his hand at his glass wildly.

"What on earth are you talking about!"

" I mean honestly! Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out!"

There was a long silence.

Sora looked at Riku.

Riku looked at Sora.

Then.

"What the heck!"

Sora groaned and waved his arms around his head, the glass still in his hands. "I mean, really! Who thinks like that? No one sane! And isn't that harassment? I mean if girls get all upset when people grab them, don't you think cows feel violated as well!"

By now Sora was waving his arms so dramatically the milk was now sloshing out of the glass and onto the table and floor.

Oh no! He would not let Sora make a huge mess that he would have to clean up!

Growling, Riku lunged forward and took the glass away from his frantic friend.

"Chill out! It's just a cow!"

At this Sora stopped quickly, his mouth hung slightly a gape as he stared at Riku. Then quickly he rounded on Riku, pointing an accusing finger at him. " How dare you say that! They give your steak, tacos, bacon-"

"Sora, those are pigs."

"It doesn't matter!"

Riku sighed as he watched his friend start to rant and rave on how cows were precious creatures and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Finally after an hour of ranting about how wrong it was for cows to be so cute but also so yummy, and a bribe of Riku buying him a big fry at Spunkies, did Sora finally settle down.

Riku watched his friend warily.

"Now, you're sure your done?"

He received a nod as confirmation.

"Ok….Good."

They sat in silence.

Riku was finally relaxing, right up until, " I mean wouldn't you feel harassed!"

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A/N:** Heh heh. That was fun to write. I really do wonder if cows feel harassed when we milk them. O.O Review please! 


	3. Nose Talking

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary:** Sora asks a lot of random questions. Riku tries to answer them.

**A/N:** So, I was watching the ending of Kingdom Hearts 2….Again. And I watched it slow-mo when Sora and Riku came up out from the water, OMG! THE DO THE FREAKING LITTLE MERMAID THING! Where they throw their heads back and shake the extra water out! Yeah, ok I just thought that was really funny. On to the story.

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**Chapter Three, 'Nose Talking'**

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**Riku smirked slightly as he watched Kairi glare at the sheet of white paper in her lap. 

"Having trouble there?"

Suddenly her glare was not on the paper, but on the silver haired boy himself. Her deep sea blue eyes showing immense frustration and annoyance.

"Shut up, Riku. Not all of us can be great at math like yourself."

The said math genius blew on his nails and buffed them arrogantly on his shirt.

"So true. So true."

Kairi rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm softly. "You are so full of yourself."

Riku grinned and ruffled her hair, "Yeah, but you love me that way." He laughed when she freaked out about her hair and tried to fix it best she could while muttering how much more 'loveable' he would be with a broken spinal cord.

After getting her hair back in perfect order, and asking Selphie just to make sure, Kairi turned to Riku and tilted her head to the side. "Do you see him?"

Riku turned his head to the side and looked out the bus's window. He waited awhile to see if there was any sign of the brown haired porcupine. He pursed his lips in slight annoyance.

"Nope."**  
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Kairi groaned and Slephie jumped up at this, scaring Kairi to death. "Again! He's going to be late again! You know what the bus driver said to him last time he was late! 'This is your last warning kid! Three strikes and you're out!'" Slephie did her best impression of their smelly and hairy bus driver.

Suddenly the bus doors were flung open as a gasping Sora threw himself into the bus, and landed on it's sticky muddy floor with a dull floor.

"I'm here!"

Many kid's snickered, heck some even laughed out loud. Kairi and Riku both blushed and bowed their heads to hide their faces. They loved Sora and all…but sometimes he could be just so embarrassing!

The bus driver just scowled at the young brunette and jerked his head towards the back of the bus, telling Sora with out words to sit down. Sora quickly scrambled up and ran towards where him and Riku usually sat. Only when his friend flopped down in the seat next to him and the bus started up, did he glance up from under his silver bangs and glare at the poor blue eyed boy.

"Geeze, think you could have been any later?"

Sora frowned and looked at Riku. "Well, Sooooorry!"

Riku grit his teeth and kicked his backpack to show Sora he was obviously annoyed.

"Sure, you're sorry. Just like you were last time. What happened this time? Some kid offered you candy or something dumb like that?"

Sora narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. " For your information! I was having an intellectual conversation with Tidus. That's what made me late."

Riku stared at him.

"What?"

Riku continued to stare.

"What!"

"You?"

"Yeah."

"And Tidus?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Were having an intellectual conversation?"

"That's right."

There was silence between the two friends.

Then slowly, a smile slowly started to form on Riku's face. That smile turned into a grin, then into full out howling laughter. Sora stared at his best friend, mouth agape.

"And just what on earth is so funny about that!"

Riku slapped back of the seat in front of them, and held his stomach. He was laughing so hard he could hardly breath.

"You're such a butt head!"

Finally after calming down and wiping his eyes of the tears that had escaped, he glanced over at the brunette.

Oh, no. Here it came.

The young boys bottom lip started to poke out slightly his brow furrowed slightly, his small nose rose slightly in the air in a sign of silent annoyance. Riku had to roll his eyes. It was _the_ pout. The famous pout only Sora could pull off.

"Oh come on. I was only joking."

No response, except for Sora to fold his arms over his chest and turn away from the silver haired boy.

Riku sighed and turned to watch the scenery fly by as the bus went down the street.

After about seven minutes of the silent treatment, Riku was starting to cave.

He hated the silence.

Grumbling softly he glanced in his friends direction then quickly and non-too gently nudged Sora in the side.

"Hey! Ow! What was that for you jerk!"

"I'm sorry."

Sora blinked owlishly at him for moment.

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I said I'm Sorry."

"Oh…."

Slowly, as if Sora's brain was DSL and had to download what sorry meant, a smile grew on the brunettes face and he nodded.

Sora was so easy to forgive.

Riku nodded back knowing he had been forgiven and went back to watching the window.

"Hey, Riku?"

He didn't even bother glancing over. "Mmm?"

"Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops?"

At this Riku did look over at Sora.

"Huh?"

Sora groaned and over dramatically threw his hands in the air. "I need to get you a hearing aid! I said, why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, the humming stops?"

Riku had to raise an eyebrow. "And where did this come from?"

Sora chewed the inside of his cheek lightly before replying. "It's what me and Tidus were discussing."

He should have known those two were discussing something pointless.

"Try it."

"You're kidding me."

Sora jumped in his seat slightly. "No! I'm not! Come on Riku. It's only humming! What harm could it do?"

Riku sighed and glanced up above the seat in front of him. Nobody was looking, right? Ok, Good. Slowly Riku took a breath then started to hum the tune of Amazing Grace softly. But before he could get to the second verse his nose was plugged by his best friend which caused him to gasp and open his mouth.

"Oora! Haht Are Uou Ooing!"

"Now try to hum!"

"Haht!"

"Riku!"

Riku only rolled his eyes and got ready to hum. He took another breath and started the song over again.

But to his surprise. Nothing happened.

He couldn't get anything out.

Nothing.

Sora let go of his nose. "See! Isn't it weird? Why does that happen!"

Sora had a good point…why did that happen? Riku mulled it over in his head for a moment.

"Maybe….because we hum through our noses?"

Sora looked at him funny, but then started to nod slowly. "Yeah, that _would _make sense since blocking the nose airway thingy…Oh! Maybe that means we can talk through our nose too if we try hard enough!"

Oh dear…

For the next three weeks Riku was entertained by watching Sora and Tidus practice the art of nose talking.

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**A/N:** Phew another chapter done. Ok please read and Review. And those humming and nose thing is true. Try it :D 


	4. Roadrunner Lunch

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary:** Sora asks a lot of random questions. Riku tries to answer them.

**A/N:** Wow. Ok Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. School has started and with school mean reading tons of book and writing many papers…so basically…SCHOOL BITES! Ok, well now that I'm done I hope you all can enjoy this chapter.

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" I wanted Coco puffs."

Riku rolled his eyes at his best friend and shoved the bowl filled with coco cispies at him with out sloshing too much of the milk out of the bowl and on to the table.

"Coco puffs, Coco crispies. What's the difference? Their both artificially chocolate flavored."

At first Sora look horrified. His bright blue eyes widened and his mouth hung open. Then a nasty sneer replaced the fish out of water look and the wide eyes narrowed. "Uh, Hello! Did Riku take stupid pills today or something? Coco _puffs_ are puffy! Coco _crispies_ are all crispy-ish! They are completely different!" Riku watched with mild as Sora threw his hands up in the air to emphasize his point. Sighing softly he picked up his own bowl filled with the colorful fruit shapes only known as Trix, and mindlessly walked to the television room.

"Also, Coco puffs are round! They are sphere-a-listic! Coco crispies are nasty little things that- Hey! Where are you going!"

"To watch T.V."

"Were you even listening to me!"

"No."

Sora barred his teeth at his friends back, snatched his bowl from the table, grabbed a spoon from the counter and ran after Riku as fast as the bowl filled to the brim with cereal would let him. He walked into the television room to find Riku sitting on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table in front of the screen and his bowl of cereal in his lap. Sora scowled and walked over to him, carefully putting his bowl on the table, then took a great leap and landed heavily beside Riku, making the silver haired boy jump with the movement. Riku scrambled desperately to catch the bowl so none of the now sugary milk would spill onto the sofa or himself.

"Sora, you idiot! What's you're problem!"

Sora looked at him as if he were Bambi being accused of starting WWIII. His eyes grew to an alarming size and his lower lip stuck out and quivered. "Riku, What ever do you mean?"

Riku just glared and shoved Sora as hard as he could with one arm, then smirked triumphantly when Sora fell off the couch with and loud _thump_.

"Ow you jerk! That really hurt! I was only kidding!" Sora sat up and rubbed his head and pouted at Riku. But Riku didn't even spare him a glance and continued to watch the mind-numbing screen in front of him. Giving up on the guilt trip for now Sora got up and sat down next to Riku carefully, smiling when he noticed Riku tense slightly and grip his bowl tighter, just incase Sora tried that jump thing again.

But Sora didn't and for a while they sat there in silence. Until it finally clicked in Sora's brain what exactly they were watching.

"Are we watching Looney Toons?"

"Yep."

Sora raised an eyebrow as he watched Tweety let Sylvester put himself inside the cat's mouth, then conveniently pulled out a match from his 'back-pocket', lit it and started searching around the cats mouth. He laughed when the poor cat started to have smoke come out of his mouth and soon he was running for something to drink.

"Ah ha ha! I had forgotten how funny these old cartoons could be."

Riku nodded his head in agreement and shoveled another spoon full of Trix into his mouth as another short cartoon came on. This time it was one of the Whiley Coyote and Roadrunner ones. Sora sighed and leaned back against the back of the couch, as Riku smiled. Riku loved the Whiley Coyote and Roadrunner cartoons, but only because Whiley would be blown up, smashed, crumpled up, mashed and any other painful thing possible after his 'ingenious plans' went wrong. Sora hated this series. Not only because the Roadrunners _Beep Beep_ was annoying as heck! But also because he hated seeing Whiley Coyote fall or anything like that, because being back home after Kingdom Hearts, and going through all that he knew how painful a lot of those falls and explosions really were.

Sora winced as Whiley leaned over to light his new Rocket Roller Skates that he had bought from ACME. Riku glanced down at him and sighed. "Sora…It's only a cartoon." But Sora still frowned at the screen .

Sora bit his lip slightly when Whiley bought a huge rubber band and an anvil from ACME. He knew how this was going to turn out….

A few seconds later there was the poor coyote sailing over a cliff and getting smaller and smaller until you couldn't see him anymore and the only way you could tell he had smashed into the ground was from the small _phoew_ sound that was made. Sora sighed and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and rested his chin on his knees. He watched as yet again the dumb animal bought another lethal weapon from that cursed ACME Company. It was then the thought struck him.

"Hey Riku.."

"Mmmm?"

"Isn't Whiley trying to get the Roadrunner so he can eat him?"

Riku gave him a dumb look then nodded and turned back towards the television. Sora mulled this over in his mind for a few minutes. "And ACME. It's a company. So he's got to be paying them for their stuff right?" Riku just sighed. "Yeah, that's how business works, Sora." Sora nodded thoughtfully and scratched his mass of unruly spiky hair. "And Whiley is also a supposed genius right?" Riku grit his teeth and snorted softly.

"Yes, Sora. Yes he is."

"Then I have a question."

"Of course you do."

Sora pouted with his friends rude comment but continued anyway, "If he's so smart and has all that money. Why doesn't he just go buy himself a big chicken dinner or something?"

Riku opened his mouth to retort, but found nothing coming out of it. His brain wasn't connecting with his mouth correctly. He couldn't find an answer for this one. He looked over at Sora mouth open still trying to say something. Sora smiled gleefully.

" I have a point. Don't I?"

Mouth was still open and trying to think of an answer.

"It's a good point too, isn't it?"

Still nothing from the stupid organ he called a brain.

Sora smiled again. He closed Riku's mouth and patted his head as if he were a dog and then turned back to the television screen and grinned.

"Oh, look! Bugs Bunny is on!"

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**A/N:** Yeah ok. Sorry about that if it wasn't what you guys were waiting for. One of my classes has almost drained me of my humor because it's so dark and depressing but I shall prevail, just tell me what you liked and didn't and I shall work with it! Read and Review please!


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